I loved Seneca's post this past week - her openness, honesty, and transparency were inspiring.

As I was thinking back over our discussion last Wednesday night and reviewing in my mind what we read regarding lies women believe about themselves, I realized I have not been very open, honest, and transparent with myself. I've been doing the Bible study and thinking this is great stuff but am I making the application to my own life?

Hmmm, if I'm to be honest, the answer is no. Last week was a particularly rough week. And rather than turn to the Truth and let God's design and purpose for my week control my emotions, I let circumstances take control.

As I was preparing for the study last week, one thing that stood out to me was the LIE that we need to learn to love ourselves. This belief is certainly perpetuated in our society.

The TRUTH is, we naturally love ourselves because we (and by we, I mean me) look out for our own feelings, needs, and best interests. We want to be accepted and treated well and we allow ourselves to get hurt easily.

So....rather than focus on perceived injustices to me, I need to learn how to deny self and do what does not come naturally - to truly love God and truly love others even if I might not feel like it.

Another LIE that stood out to me is that "I have my rights." That's certainly another lie very prevalent in our society, especially for women. If you don't stand up for yourself, no one else will. And if any of your rights are violated, you have the right to protest, to be angry, to take action. 
 
I'm not saying we need to be completely passive and victimized, nor is this about denying inalienable rights or a debate on women's rights. But maybe, just maybe, we need (and by we, I mean me) to not let our emotions be controlled by whether or not our rights are being fulfilled.

The TRUTH is successful relationships and healthy cultures are not built on the claiming of rights but on the yielding of rights. I really don't have the right to control my own life, to have things go the way I want them to go, and to be angry, perturbed, and pout when I don't get my own way. The only way to get away from that mentality is to yield all my rights and selfish emotions to the One who ultimately holds all rights.

So....before I get upset in the long line at Walmart, get perturbed when someone cuts in front of me at the grocery store, or whatever situation I feel I'm not being treated fairly, let me focus on God, deny the desire to please myself, and replace that with a stronger desire to imitate my Creator.

Matthew 16:24-26 "....If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?....."

John 15:12  "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you."

 

Cultivating Inner Beauty

Chapter 3 focused on the lies that women believe about ourselves. The lies discussed were self-worth, rights, inner longings, loving oneself and physical beauty.  I'm not sure if it's due to the season of life I'm in or being a recent college graduate but this chapter struck a special place in my heart - particularly the lie that physical beauty matters more than inner beauty.

As I walked across campus at Iowa State as a freshman, I remember being in "awe" of the beauty that surrounded me. Beauty of the scenery and of the fellow female students. I felt like around every corner there was an attractive woman who seemed to have it all. The designer clothes, perfectly curled hair and glowing skin. As shallow as it makes me sound, I thought those women had it all. I strived to be like those women. Tucked away in the comfort of my dorm room, I often found myself delaying studying only to be consumed by online shopping for clothing that was too expensive for my college-student budget. I desperately yearned to be like my peers.

My thoughts on beauty were incredibly skewed. From an early age, every where I turned culture painted the picture that physical beauty was what mattered most. Achieving outward beauty would to lead me to happiness. This lie originated from Satan deceiving Eve. The fruit was "pleasing to the eye" - physically attractive. God created this beautiful fruit so its beauty wasn't the issue. The problem arose when Eve placed undue emphasis on its external appearance, forgetting the fruit was poison and not to be consumed.

I've dealt with the deception of physical beauty for quite some time. I've always been self-concious of my appearance. I remember telling my husband numerous times while we were dating that I wanted a nose job. A nose job! He thought I was crazy and now I know why. I needed to remind myself that God made me in His image and I was perfectly beautiful in eyes.

The pursuit of physical beauty is an elusive, unattainable goal. My longing for beauty kept me in bondage. The only way to break free was to seek God's Word which proclaims the Truth about the transitory nature of physical beauty and the importance of pursuing lasting, inner beauty.

These verses from 1 Peter in The Message translation perfectly illustrates the way to cultivating inner beauty.

3 1-4 The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.

4-6 Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

As a married woman, who has been renewed by the Holy Spirit, my goal is to achieve the outward appearance of a Christian woman, specifically the Proverbs 31 wife. I want to be a compliment to my husband and dress in a way that is orderly, reflecting my pure and simple heart.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." - Proverbs 31:30

One of the most beautiful woman I've ever had the pleasure of meeting is my grandmother. To this day, her most used accessory is a shining smile. In my twenty-four years, I've never heard her say anything ill towards anyone. Her heart reflects her relationship with the Lord and she has made the gospel so attractive.

In my recent trip home, I visited her in the nursing home. As I entered the single-bed sterile room, I found her sitting in her recliner with a Bible by her side. Her face beamed when realized who I was. Even at the age of eighty-nine with a deteriorating mental state, her love for the Lord is present and with age she has become even more beautiful. I look up to her my role model and hope to develop strong relationship with the Lord as she did.

Cultivating my inner beauty is a constant growing process. I still long for those adorable but pricey boots and the sun kissed skin. As each day passes, I work to mirror the image of the gospel in my heart, just like my grandmother did.

Today, let's remember that the most important beauty is from within - a beauty is enduring to our Heavenly Father. Always remember you are a beautiful woman of God.

Satan is the master at deception therefore his lies are endless. Many women wrestle with six lies as they work through their perception of God. You may not believe all the lies but Satan knows the ones you are most vulnerable to. Being the schemer he is, he then targets his attacks around your vulnerably.

Satan becomes particularly deceptive when lies are half-truths, rather than outright lies. This makes them even more dangerous. The source of all evil in this world came from a lie. Have you ever considered what life would be like in Eve hadn’t been deceived? We wouldn’t recognize the world. The Garden of Eden was the epitome of paradise before Satan's pride arrived.  

Do you believe the Truth of God’s Word? Have you ever been disappointed when He doesn’t answer your prayers? Often times, our reaction to choices, priorities and responses to pain reveal that we don’t truly believe His Word even though we say we do. What we believe about God determines the way we live. So let’s dig into the first three lies today.

LIE #1: God is not really good. If he were, he would….

…. keep my husband from leaving, give me a new house, keep children safe from harm, eliminate natural disasters…

TRUTH: God is good, and everything He does is good. He never makes mistakes.

Repeat the last sentence: He never makes mistakes. He never makes mistakes.

Does your perception of God and His goodness ever change? Perhaps, you got that raise you so desperately needed or He blessed you with a healthy family. In those good times, it is so easy to praise Him and all His glory. What about those times when things don’t go your way? Perhaps you’ve lost your job, your marriage is holding on by a thread or you’ve just found out your mother was diagnosed with cancer. In those tough times, do you still praise Him or do you ask, “Why me?”

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” 
Romans 8:28

Deep in many of our hearts, suspicion lurks at times. God may not really be good – at least, that He has not been good to me.  This was the lie that Satan used to seduce Eve. Twisting words and shaping her thoughts about God planted a seed of doubt in her mind about God’s goodness. We must keep from falling into Satan’s trap like Eve and keep His Truth close to our hearts.

Note for the author: The Trust is, God is good. Whether or not His choices seem good to us, He is good. Whether or not we feel it, He is good. Whether or not it seems true in my life or yours, He is still good.

LIE #2: God doesn’t love me.

TRUTH: God’s love for me is infinite and unconditional. I don’t have to perform to earn God’s love or favor. He always has my best interests at heart.

Most of us have had our hearts broken at some point in our lives. We know what it feels like when someone doesn’t love us. Too often we come to God thinking He doesn’t really love me, if He did – He wouldn’t have let this happen.  We must never compare God love’s to humanly love. That is a judgment most of us are guilty of making.

God loves each and every one of us because He is love. Luckily, His love for us isn’t based on anything we have done or could ever achieve. None of us deserve His love nor could never earn it. His love was a gift to us – simple as that. We must learn to accept this gift and submit to Him. We must not live our lives worrying that we are not worthy of His gift.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
Ephesians 2:8-10

There is nothing we can do to make Him love us any less; there is nothing we can do to make Him love us any more. What an amazing fact to know!

LIE #3: God is just like my father.

TRUTH: God is exactly what He has revealed Himself to be in His Word. He is infinitely more wise and loving that any earthly father could ever be.

Our view of God is greatly influenced by the men we have known in our lives – particularly our fathers. Our perception of God can be positively or negatively shaped by those men.  No matter what your view is, we must remember that even the wisest, kindest earthly father is but a pale reflection of our heavenly Father.  God is infinitely more wonderful, pure and loving than even the greatest earthly father. It is so important to not allow our view of God to be determined by other men, for at their very best they are flawed representations of God.

You may wonder why He, our Father who loves us unconditionally, would allow us to suffer pain in our lives.  He purposefully inflicts pain and suffering upon us to show He loves and cares about us.

“For they discipline us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.”
Hebrews 12:10

Regardless of how we feel about the earthly men in our lives, the fact remains that God is a good Father who dearly loves His children. He can be trusted with our lives.

Next week, we will look at the next three lies that we face. Let us acknowledge that He is good and that everything He does is good. He always has our best interests at heart, even when it seems like he distant. Lord, forgive us for the times we have doubted Your wisdom, Your goodness and Your love. 

I don't know about you, but when I'm on a journey, I like to know exactly where I'm going. I don't like surprises, unexpected detours, taking a wrong turn, getting lost - I want to do it right the first time. But, on a journey of any length, the unexpected seems to happen.

The same is true of life...surprises, detours, wrong turns, getting lost...one day our path is clear and it's smooth sailing - the next day we're struggling and confused about which road to take. So, how do we still experience the abundant life Jesus talks about in John 10:10?

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Galatians 5:1 

 

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Matthew 11:28-30

 

There is a pathway of freedom - Christ has paved the way to abundant life in Him by laying His life down for us. Freedom is not the absence of problems but the promise that He will bear our burdens and enable us to move on - past our emotions, past old habits, past false ways of thinking...and on to Truth.

 

To recognize Truth, we must also recognize our enemy.

 

"...he is a liar and the father of lies." John 8:44

"...for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light." 2 Cor. 11:14

 

Satan is a liar; his goal is the complete opposite of abundant life - his goal is to destroy. He's subtle, always trying to deceive, trying to make sin look appealing. So why do we fall for his deceptions?

 

Think about this ladies....Satan chose to target the woman - that's significant! That's part of Satan's strategy. If we as women buy into his deception, he knows we will influence the men around us. Our choices will affect our family members, our children, our friends, our acquaintances. A pattern will be set for future generations. Take a minute to ponder the impact of that my friends.

 

Consider the influences we have coming into our lives: movies, TV, books, magazines, advertisements, Facebook, Twitter, the Internet, friends, relatives, counselors, coworkers - you get the idea - we're bombarded on all sides. Do we mindlessly accept whatever we hear and see without seriously considering the consequences of our choices?

 

That's how it all began in the Garden of Eden. Eve listened to the lies Satan told her. Listening started a slippery slope that led to sin. Just like Eve, after we listen to a lie, we start to dwell on it. We mull it over, we consider it, we even start to think it sounds appealing . . . Satan certainly did not offer Eve a bad apple - that apple looked juicy, red, delicious, irresistible!  Next the seed that was sown takes root and begins to grow - we believe the lie. Then we act on the lie and before we know it, a stronghold has been established - one that may impact the rest of our lives. 

 

As we move forward with this study, let us move from bondage to freedom, let us follow the path of the Bereans in Acts 17:11.

 

"...for they received the message with great eagerness

and examined the Scriptures every day

 to see if what Paul said was true."

 

Let us learn to examine, to search Scripture eagerly and

• identify the area of bondage or sin - ask God to show us specific areas that may not be obvious
• identify the lie at the root of that bondage or sin
• replace the lie with the Truth

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

John 8:32